December 12, 2006

• China Blog: Day 112
  

  21:19 Beijing Time
  

  
  

  Phrase Of The Day: Wo xuyao yige jiaqi. (I need a holiday.)

  According to my mother, all Lewis men have an inbuilt self-defence mechanism. Whenever bad news strikes, we bury our heads in the sand and let it wash over us.

  Well, it appears mine is faulty.

  To put it frankly, the last few days have been shit.

  Why, you ask?

  Firstly, I’m ill. I’ve been under the weather for the best part of the last week.

  Secondly, I’ve been run ragged marking oral exams and dealing with a bunch of Russian students who decided to never turn up to any of my classes yet still expect to pass the exam. Last week I spent, on average, seven hours a day in my freezing cold, barely-heated office.

  Thirdly, and possibly saddest of all, I was told yesterday morning that Polly had passed away. She was 17, so she had had a good innings, but it still sucks. I’ve got many happy memories of that pooch, and my heart goes out to Anne right now. I hear Tessy’s pining too, and I wish I was back there to give her a hug

  Fourthly, Fiona and I split up yesterday. No big drama, no raging argument. A calm chat in a sushi restaurant, a mutual agreement, and….well. That was it. Doesn’t stop the sleepless night and empty feeling in the old gut, though. In fact, it sucks. I can’t help feeling that if I’d just been a tad less…well, muppetlike, things may have been different. I’m sorry we broke up, but I grudgingly accept that it’s for the best.

  Lastly, it’s Josh’s last day in China for the holidays. His flight leaves at dawn, so he’s the first one of our little gang to depart. Still, we’ll see him again in February so that’s all good.

  Seriously, I’m so glad I’m getting out of Changchun for a few days. Tomorrow it’s off to Shanghai to scope the city out, meet Lili, and get a handle on the place that, it appears, is the next place that I am destined to call home. What with the last week and all, I need a break. Time to get my head together and drum up some Christmas spirit, which is sadly lacking right now.

  However, trust China, in the midst of all this doom and gloom, to throw yet another surprise into the works.

  You see, yesterday evening Doug, Wes, Claudia and your humble narrator, AKA the Changchun Dungeons & Dragons group, were sat in a restaurant on Longli Lu chewing the fat and telling traveller’s stories. All of a sudden, this random Chinese guy came and asked if we wanted to toast with him. Without waiting for an answer, he ran off to procure two bottles of finest chinese pijiu, or beer, as we gave a collective sigh of dismay. This sort of thing leads to inescabable  social situations in which the protagonists find themselves surrounded by drunken Chinese men desperate to practice their English. And so, we believed, was the fate to which we were resigned.

  But no! Fate had a cunning trick to play on our unsuspecting crowd, for this young gentleman was a representative of a beer company, and was in fact looking for three western blokes to portray Santa and his elves, and to spend three nights travelling around Changchun dispensing Christmas cheer and Carlsberg beer to the masses. Now, this sounded like the kind of wacky venture Wes, Doug and myself would embark on, so we got down to the nitty gritty of bargaining.

  Him: I’ll give you a crate of beer.

  Us: No, we want a crate of beer and 200RMB per night.

  H: I can’t give you money. What else would you like?

  Me: How about your wives and daughters? (joking, naturally.)

  Wes: How about… we have to have four sexy Chinese Santa’s Elves to come with us?

  Doug: And a crate EACH.

  Me: And free drinks all night.

  So eventually we concluded our bargaining: Free booze, a crate each, and the company of four attractive Chinese models. It wasn’t until we’d left the restaurant that it dawned on us: We’re pretty sure he thought we wanted the girl for….well. Improper purposes. And he had agreed.
  
  Only in China, people!!

  Anyway, I need to go get ready for my trip tomorrow, and then go and spend another night being distinctly lonely, forlorn, and emo.

  It’s happened, and I can’t change it. Doesn’t stop it sucking though. Had a talk through with Tracie yesterday, and it helps some, but…it’s gonna take a few weeks. Maybe longer. Could it have gone another way? Maybe. Is anyone to blame? No…it just happened. As she told me, we have nothing in common. Doesn’t make me happier for knowing that, though. We’re both hurting – I think – and all I can say is that I’m sorry.

  Mutual, amicable breakups hurt so much more than bad ones.
  
  Sorry for the glumness, folks. Hopefully Shanghai will yield some chirpier, more joyful misadventures, escapades, and hi-jinks.

  I think it’s time to follow a piece of my own advice.

  Chin up, Scotty-boy. It’ll all come out in the wash.

  Zai Jian!

  • 9:42 am
  • 6 Comments