September 17, 2006
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China Blog: Day 23
23:55 Beijing Time
Phrase Of The Day: Zhangweng shi Zhanglang…(The War Of The Roaches)
Roach Wars: Episode 1; A New Roach**************STOP PRESS****************
Today, September 17, 2006-a date which
will live in infamy- Chez Geek: Export Edition
was suddenly and deliberately attacked by
forces of the evil Cockroach Empire.Breaking the flimsy non-aggression pact between the two parties, in
which the Roaches agreed to stay out of sight provided the inhabitant
of CG:EE did not Raid them into oblivion, Roach forces took control of
Scott’s Sugar Bag, The Bit Around The Sink, and the Kitchen Top Under
The Water Cooler. Incursions were also made into The Area Near The
Living Room Plug Socket. All were turned back with deadly force, and
the brutal application of an HP Mexican Chilli Sauce bottle.As a result, this is hereby an official Declaration Of War from CG:EE
upon any and all roaches found encROACHing (ba-dum-tish!) upon CG:EE
sovereign territory.In a statement made immediately after the initial assault was repelled,
Scott Lewis, veteran of The Great Mouse Incursion Of Chez Geek
Ver. 2.0, declared open warfare, and is believed to be formulating a
cunning battle plan of his own to combat the roach invasion.
Scott Lewis: War Hero!
So, it’s war. Expect constant updates as the valiant
defender of CG:EE uses all his cunning and wiles to thwart the dread
ambitions of the Roaches! Read about his acts of valiance! Laugh as he
screams like a girl when they crawl out of his towel! And it comes
complete with maps, too!
Current casualties:Roaches: 4
Scott: 0Cost Of War:
1x bag of sugar: 3 RMB.
Comments (5)
Good lord! I would crap my pants if I found roaches in my apartment. They creep me out so bad I wouldn’t even have the guts to dispose of them. The thing about them is that I can’t stand stepping on them like you would any other bug because they…*shudders*…crunch. Are you going to set out roach traps now?
Haha. That is the best thing ever.
I think that I found my light on the map. I’m sure of it.
Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I would have been running around screaming my head off and standing on top of the furniture. How did you get stuck with an apartment that has roaches? Blech. I was born in Brooklyn, and my mom found a roach on me one morning when I was really little. She panicked and smacked it. I won’t go into further details. =P
Fight on, my good man. Fight on!
Yeah, you show those bugs!