May 9, 2001

• Oh yeah. Forgot the other bit of news ^_^

  
  

  Tony Blair announced the General Election date today. 7th of June. Gives them all exactly 28 days and 1 hour and three minutes. By the way, the time flag on this Weblog doesnt allow for GMT, which is why the times are wrong ^_^

  
  

  Anyway. Tony Blair opened his campaign at a school with a mixed-ethnic-origin choir. Fair play to the guy. But what i object to is the fact he stood in front of a stained glass window, like he were appealing to the world like some new messiah. Someone hit him.

  
  

  Hard.

  
  

  With a big stick.

  
  

  Then you got William Hague. I’m sorry, but if HE becomes Prime Minister, i’m jumping on the first plane to somewhere else. Uzbekistan, maybe.

  
  

  I mean, HE opens his campaign on a wooden box in Watford, which is a bloody stupid place to start since it’s a Labour majority ANYWAY, in an attempt to reach out to the people. Watch yer step, baldy, or someone will reach out to you.

  
  

  Hard.

  
  

  With a big stick.

  
  

  Nope, I’m gonna stick with Lib Dems. The liberal Democrats. Sure, I’m not of voting age yet, but hey. The good ol’ Yellow team. OK, granted they havent had a PM in power for like, five decades or somesuch but maybe this is there year. I mean, look back over the past three PM’s:

  
  

  1)Maggie Thatcher, the Iron Lady, stopped little kiddywinks having free milk and developing good bones, and attacked Argentinians. More wars during her term than any other PM. 16 years of Economic, social and other inbalance. The NHS went tits-up, and lots of other bad things happened. Th worst thing of all was…..

  
  

  2) John Major. WHY???????????? He did nothing. Him and his crony Norman Lamont were famous or just that. DOING NOTHING to correct the sadstate of affairs his predecessor had left the country in. Of course THEN….

  
  

  3) Tony Blair. At last we had finally realised that Conservative office was screwing our country up. So we plonked Tony Blair into No. 10. We saw him as a saviour. What happens? Fuel tax prices rise faster than a whippet with a bee up its behind. Farmers, lorry drivers and Hauliers barricade refineries. Blair, in his infinite wisdom, decides NOT to change policy, while his bosom pal John Prescott sat and ate doughnuts, and instead threatened to send in the troops.  THEN You got the foot and mouth crisis. he sends in the troops again, this time to shoot farm animals. Doesn’t that strike you as just a MINOR waste of our defence budget?

  
  

  One good thing for labour’s term in office, and congratulations have to go to Gordon brown, the Chancellor. Good work with the economy. We’re stronger than ever before. Keep it up

  
  

  But surely after these relatively crap prime ministers we deserve a man with vision? Vigour? Charisma?

  
  

  Yep. We need Sean Connery.

  
  

  Think about it.

  
  

  The best ever Bond, Scottish, yet with an accent so refined the Earl Grey (of Tea fame) couldn’t fault it. A physical presence like none other. And he’s an MBE, better than any of our RECENT PM’s.

  
  

  Who else has blatantly turned down an MBE until Scotland had it’s own parliament? No-one. And if any Euro-sceptic gives him hassle, he can just wallop ‘im.

  
  

  What a bloke.

  
  

  So now we see the future! We have seen our future leader! Not some bloke standing with a choir and a plate glass window pretending he is Jesus incarnate! Not some bald goon with about as much sense in his whole head as I have in one bogey! NO! WE NEED SEAN CONNERY! HE is the man we need! He should be our saviour!HE is the one to lead us to glory!

  
  

  Sean, if you read this, please consider running for PM!!!!

  
  

  VOTE CONNERY!!!!!!!!

  
  

  thats my view, anyway

  • 6:27 pm
  • 1 Comment