October 8, 2006

• China Blog: Day 45
  

  07:33 Beijing Time
  

  
  

  Phrase Of The Day: Wo de shenti: bu zhene yibian yizuo anzhao jiu gaozao. (My Body: Not So Much A Temple As An Ancient Ruin)

  Next time I tell any of you that I’m going to go and do a four-hour,
  caffeine-fuelled marking session late at night, AFTER playing football
  for two hours, in which I almost knocked myself out, AFTER an
  hour-and-a-half tai chi lesson, WHILE recovering from a head cold and a
  bad stomach, hit me. Please.

  I feel rough as hell this morning, which isn’t good as I have two
  classes to teach today. Ugh. Also, why is it that the state of one’s
  living quarters is always proportionate to how bad you feel at any
  given time? My apartment’s a tip >_<

  At least my head has stopped hurting, which is one thing to be thankful
  for. Me and Tom collided during the weekly football game, and I took a
  pretty heavy blow to the ol’ noggin. I had one of those “I’m
  alright….I can stand up! Wait….no I can’t…” moments and fell
  backwards, hitting my head on the deck as I did so. DAMN did that hurt.

  I had a really, really weird experience last night- I was walking through the
  near-deserted streets, shoulders hunched against the fine drizzle,
  hands jammed in pockets, laptop bag dangling over one shoulder,
  headphones in and so on, when it suddenly dawned on me that it kinda
  reminded me of being back in Sunderland, coming back from St. Peter’s at 2 in the morning.
  It was a welcome pang of nostalgia at the time.

  Our Autumn Moon Festival was pretty cool. Carrie threw a party for some
  of our students (None of mine knew aboutit as I wasn’t told til I got
  back from Xi’an) and despite my ailing body, my so-called “friends”
  forced me to eat some foul mince-pie-esque atrocity, citing my pledge
  to “Eat anything new and foody put in front of me while i’m in China”.
  Damn them all!

  In other news, my battle with the foul vermin has resumed. Despite the
  heavy fumigation my flat received while I was in Xi’an, since I’ve come
  back I have seen three or four live ones- just babies, mind you- and
  plenty o’dead ‘uns. One of the buggers was even inside my work folder
  in my desk drawer! Yes… our tenuous ceasefire has ended. The War Of
  The Roaches has resumed,effective immediately!

  THEN there’s the issue of Crazed Neighbour. As I write this he’s
  buzz-sawing or something making equally as much noise, which when
  combined with the incessant construction work outside explains my being
  awake at such an unholy hour. I’m tempted to employ Sarah’s
  suggested tactic and hammer loudly on HIS wall at 4am. I saw him
  through our respective balcony windows yesterday, and it was like he
  was mocking me, taunting me….

  Methinks this may only end in blood. Maybe I should hire The A-Team.

  **********************Added 08:08******************

  I just found this on Chinalyst, and you have NO idea how much I wish I’d written this blog:

   Why Travel In China Is Like Being the Protagonist In A Fantasy Novel
  Original article from Violet Eclipse

  Andrea just sent me a bunch of fantasy books and I’ve noticed a certain
  similarity between my reading matter and my life. Some of the reasons
  overlap with Sinoplice’s brilliant “Why China Is Like An RPG”. Travel
  in China, like fantasy books, offers an escape from a monotonous life.
  Money is counted in “pieces” and dragons are real.

  1) The way is fraught with peril. There’s no quick travel, the path
  from point A to Point B is always full of adventures. Come on, Frodo
  couldn’t just hop on the next plane to Mordor!

  2) Dire predictions of doom. In fantasy stories, the protagonists are
  constantly warned about their destination, just like in China. “I heard
  of a foreign traveler who tried to reach Penglai by bus. We never saw
  him again.” or “You seek to visit Beijing? In October? Turn back while
  you still can!”

  3) Searching for rare artifacts. The quester can’t just walk into the
  blacksmith’s and say “Good morning, I’d like to purchase the ancient,
  elf-made enchanted sword of the shadowlands, please.” and expect to get
  what he wants. Where’s the challenge there? Where’s the character
  development? In China, I can’t just walk into a shop and say “Good
  morning, I’d like to purchase some deoderant, please.”

  4) Adventurers form a traveling party, using their disparate skills to
  work for a common goal. In my travels, Fresca can read pin yin, Dave
  can bargain, Will knows everyone in Yantai… (I guess I can make
  bardic knowledge checks, once in a while Wait, I’m the protagonist! I
  don’t have to be useful!)

  5) And finally, everyone speaks Common (Pu Tong Hua). Except me, my attempt at Chinese is more like a bad Renn faire accent.

  ********************************End Addition**************************8

  War Of The Roaches: Scoresheet

  Casualties (estimated):

  Roaches: 30+

  Scott: 0

  Nervous Breakdowns Induced: ALMOST 1

  War Budget Impact:

  1x sugar (3RMB)

  3x Raid (19.95RMB)

  1x Raid Roach Traps (19.95RMB)

  1x Tupperware MegaSet (39RMB)

  1x hotel stay (328 RMB)

  Total: 447.80RMB
  
  

  

  • 8:01 pm
  • 4 Comments